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Art and design by Jim LePage

Word Leftovers: 2 Kings

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Still spending my time on getting prints available (I'm close!), so this week I have some more Word leftovers. This time it's prophets, teenagers and bears, oh my! You may remember that the prophet Elisha did some cool stuff like cleansing nasty water with salt, but he's also part of (in my opinion) one of the craziest, straight-out-of-an-action-movie scenes in the Bible.

I'm Just Hangin' out at the Maul

Right after the passage where Elisha heals the water, he faces the biggest challenge of his life... teenagers. Elisha is simply walking along the road when suddenly he encounters a group of teens who start teasing him because he's bald. I can imagine that with a big crowd of rowdy teens and all their nonstop threats of "Get out of here, baldy!", it must have been difficult for Elisha to stay calm. Maybe he starts to get a little flustered, even panicked a bit because he is vastly outnumbered. Luckily, he pulls out his How to be an Old Testament Prophet (for Dummies) book and quickly pages through it. "OK... page 145, paragraph 3... 'If you are being teased by a pack of teenagers make sure you a) overreact and b) use lots of violence'." As he looks up from the book, the panic leaves his face, he stares at the teens and proclaims "It's not enough that you like to read Twilight books and listen to crappy music, but now you have chosen to mess with a representative of Yahweh?! It's on like Donkey Kong!" Mixing overreaction and violence with the creativity of a master artist, Elisha, like some kind of bizarro Dr. Dolittle, calls out two bears who maul 42 of the teenagers. Then he probably looked at the camera and said something like "I can't bear to be teased" or "I guess there will be 42 fewer people in line for the next Twilight movie." (Little known fact: OT prophets invented those action movie one-liners.) For discussion: In your opinion, what is the weirdest story in the Bible?